Commit phobia is unwillingness
to make something work .Commitment in relationships has been a hard thing for
men since time in memorial. This could apply to simple things like a man accepting
a pregnancy which could get their heart to race. Today, we have a growing
concern over women increasingly refusing to commit to relationships. They fear
to commit to a long term relationship, marriage and moving in. This fear can affect
their careers, friendship and businesses.
Many may argue that they do not know any woman who
does not want to commit but fear to commit is a real issue. Some women struggle
to keep a hairstyle for even a day due to esteem issues. The U.S. Census Bureau reports single women are the
fastest-growing segment of the American population. Unmarried women are one of
the fastest growing demographic groups in America. Unmarried women have seen a
huge increase in the number of eligible voters since 2000.
The idea of unmarried
women on the loose was just unacceptable in African culture. Today most Ugandan
women will testify to receiving immense pressure from relatives to get married
after university. Many reasons may explain the sudden trend of women becoming
less interested in committing to relationships. Being single does not mean you
fear to commit but extreme disinterest in relationships may raise concerns.
The Rise of feminism
may explain the less interest in committing to relationships. Some women feel
independent and do not need to depend on a man for anything. This is true with
career women who may feel that committing may limit them from going up the career
ladder. She may need to travel for further studies but the family issues come
in their way. The fear of starting a football team project of kids may tie them
down. Women
Emancipation ignores the value of marriage and the family. Some companies tend
to shy away from employing reproductive active women.
There is changing
perception about value of sex and respect for relationships..Some people feel
they can still have benefits of a relationship without being in one. We see “friends
with benefits” and “no-strings attached” relationships as a raising trend. This
means you can have sex with someone whenever you need without any emotional
attachments. Life continues normally hence no need to have a man in their life. A lot of changes have
changed the African tradition of courtship. There are many dating apps, dating
agencies, reality TV on relationships that wrongfully depict commitment. Media has
not helped the situation as it is pushing for hook-ups, ‘quickies’, and one
night stands which are totally against commitment.
Past relationship experience
may explain the trend of women fearing to commit .May be she was heartbroken and
decided to take a break by not committing. History of failed relationships
freaks out many as it puts on table trust issues.
It’s natural for a girl
not to commit. Sometimes the reluctance to commit to a relationship is because
of a lack of certainty about whether this is the right person for them .Some
girls refuse to commit because person is not their type. It is not natural for
a woman not to commit when the relationship is moving on well and refuses to
take it forward .That is a sign she is commit phobic. Some women just go nuts when
they are required to keep a promise. She looks at commitment as giving up all
her freedom and she walk obviously want the opposite.
Perfectionist type of
woman will obviously never commit. Worrying is their pillow. They fantasize
about MR right. They worry too much even how someone kisses, looks, or spends
their day. The list of unrealistic expectations can be endless. The Perfectionist
craves for what they not have and will forever find more fault with all the
would be partners. They are picky and stick to a checklist as though they were
shopping groceries which cannot work on people.
Have you ever been
given an ultimatum to commit? Sometimes the proposal to commit is communicated
in a wrong way. Some people simply force others to commit and issue ultimatums.
Pride and anger may come to play and she refuses to commit. Rushed requests for
commitment are always suspicious. Less than a month and one party in the
relationship wants to take the relationship to the next level. That may cause
panic to a girl’s head.
Women must learn to ask
themselves what they really want. Why would you breakup with someone you love
because of commitment fears after getting close? Loneliness hurts. Commitment
may affect your goals at times, but it’s just your excuse. Get ready to make decisions
when you cross the bridge. The reason of the commit phobia usually lies in the
woman’s past. Failure to steer away from the past makes anyone to sabotage all
future relationship opportunities. Communicating frankly about fears to
commitment with concerned people may work magic.
Ivan
.N.Baliboola
Blogger
Twitter:@mediasurgeon
